Good-bye, Winter. Hello, Spring.

I'm sorry that I did not get the chance to describe our activation experience yesterday.  We were at the hospital all day long, and then when we got home, our Internet was out.  We will miss Italian Internet service -- not even a little.

First, let me tell you about yesterday!

If you have not watched the videos I posted yesterday, you can scroll to the older post to see them.  I have a longer one that I would love to share, but I don't have enough speed here to connect it, so you will have to wait on that one. I have a few photos, too, but again, the internet speed here to too slow to load them. 

As for the device itself, Anna was SO thrilled.  Truly delighted!   It is not pink.  I think the official color is "anthracite" - something between black and gray.  However, we were given a great, big suitcase of materials related to the device, and in the suitcase are plastic pieces that we can exchange to make the battery pack different colors, including baby pink.  Anna can choose pink, orange, green or other colors.  Who knew?  Right now, Anna is wearing the device attached to her clothing instead of using the battery pack over her ear.  We couldn't get the earpiece to stay on, and this contraption costs thousands of dollars -- I don't want to lose it or have it break.  So, until I can get it to where it will stay on the ear, we are using the pin-on-the-clothing method.  It's not ideal because the microphone probably works better on the ear (more similar to how hearing people hear), but for now, that's what we've got.

For those who need mundane details, Anna has been implanted with a Med-El Opus 2 device.  After one day with it, I am quite certain that a degree in electrical engineering would have been helpful.  It's so intricate and tiny!  I'm nervous about breaking it or damaging it.  It came with its own tiny tools!   I have no idea right this minute how to do half the things I need to do, and all my instructions are in Italian.  However - and this is BIG - the Lord is gracious in ALL things, even in the "physics-is-not-my-strength" things.  I have a new best friend.  Her name is Allison, and she is the United States Med-El Audiologist assigned to help me.  I had to call the helpdesk from Italy last night to ask a question about taking the device apart before bed (it has to go into a dryer each night).  Allison already knew about Anna, and she answered my question perfectly.  Hooray for excellent customer service.  I also found out that Allison is planning to be in Los Angeles next month when Anna goes in for her first post-activation mapping session.  Did I mention that I already love Allison?  Well, I do.

Back to the activation.  When they first started playing the beeps, Anna didn't react at all. Nothing.  It was discouraging.  In fact, I turned off the camera.  Then, all of a sudden, I could see it on her face.  She heard.  I turned it back on, and they tried again, and she reacted again.  That was the video you saw yesterday.  They did the activation in two portions.  The first time, they were able to activate 9 electrodes.  Then, the team needed to go to the OR to do some testing on one of the other children, so they left.  We went walking about, and later, when they came back, the re-tested.  This time, there was a reaction to all 12 electrodes.  Several times Anna responded to the beeps.  I kept the camera running this time.  This is the longer video, and it is actually the end of the day, around 5:00 p.m., when they were fine-tuning the maps for Anna.  That's the show you will have to wait to see.   I will, however, share another short video. This takes place at the end of the activation session, when Anna plays "the Hearing Game."  View it here:   http://youtu.be/n167zJICfGY

One the best parts of the activation was that one of the experts on the audiology side is someone near and dear to Dr. Colletti's heart - his daughter.  She is a doctor also and has authored many articles with her surgeon father on the follow-up of the ABI kids.  She is the one who works with the Med-El and audiology people to get the maps right and to follow the children long-term.  I really, really liked her!  She has her dad's winning personality, and she was TERRIFIC with Anna!  She seemed to instantly "get" that Anna is an actress, and so she instructed the guy who was doing the actual maps about how to get true reactions from Anna.  This man, who was very patient and kind, was described to me as the head electrophysiologist from Med-El.  He told me that the fact that Anna understood to use her voice was HUGE, and that he and the others were extremely pleased with the first activation.  Thank you, LORD!  For all the doubts and fears I had along the way were answered.  I know the road is long and not nearly even begun, but this child can hear.  She can HEAR.  As we left the hospital, Anna gave a bear hug to Dr. Carner, who beamed and said, "she such a marvelous child.  Just marvelous." 

This morning, when I put the device on Anna, she instantly made a face that made me know she sensed the difference.  She asked me to clap into the microphone, and I did.  She repeated what did - the exact same number of claps.  She then went to to cupboard and got out the pan and a spoon.  She wanted me to drum!  I did, and she reacted again, even when she wasn't looking.  Most of the day today, though, I could see no difference in Anna.  She was the same Anna.  She didn't seem to hear the train, or our voices, or anything else.  An encouraging e-mail from her teacher reminded me that this is why they do LONG hours of audio training with the cochlear implant (and brainstem implant) kids.  Hearing is hard, and listening is harder!  It's hard work for Anna and her friends.  In fact, after wearing her device all day, Anna fell asleep two hours earlier than usual.  I think her brain was weary!

Today, as we left Verona, it snowed. We were not sad to leave the snow behind.  In a way, I think we are moving from winter to spring not only physically, but also in the emotional and spiritual realms.  This long journey with Anna has, at times, seemed like the winter would never end.  Like the answer would always be no.  Like there were no little leaves of hope ready to peek out and sprout.  As we leave winter behind, in my heart, I know spring is just ahead.  Anna is going to blossom in ways we can't even begin to predict. When she does, I know we will appreciate the winter all the more.  After all, how could we begin to really embrace spring unless we had all survived winter?

Seven months ago, An Xiao Chun was truly the "least" among us. Abandoned without even her real identity known, she was assigned a birthdate by her government and handed over to an orphange. She wasn't "just" an orphan - she was a deaf, female orphan in a place where gender matters and people with disabilites are shunned. She had no hope of an education. She had no hope, really, of much of a future. She stayed that way for nearly five years. But GOD!   GOD, in His mercy, saw her. In His wisdom and gentleness, He chose her! And, being the way He is, He didn't only give her family. He did more than that. He gave her a way to experience the gift of sound. In seven months' time, this child has gone from orphan to daughter.  She has moved from silence to sound. She has traveled to three continents and has radiated her infectious laughter and energy to everyone who meets her. 

I will never pretend to understand why some children are lifted out of sadness, while others die never knowing the loving presence of a family, or worse, have families not worthy of the name. I don't know why some people are healed in their earthy bodies, while some are not. I don't know why some winters are harder and longer than others.  I don't have all the answers.  In this one case, I know this for certain: GOD CHOSE ANNA. GOD HAS A GOOD PLAN FOR ANNA. GOD'S GLORY IS ON FANTASTIC DISPLAY IN ANNA.  Anna XiaoChun, your Spring is here!

As we leave Italy, I recognize that I have come face to face with my Savior and with myself.  When you really see yourself in His reflection, you feel very small and very weak in faith and very unworthy of His grace. That's pretty much where I am. Utterly at the end of myself, completely humbled and broken, and incredibly, overwhelmingly grateful.

There will be no more updates until we are home.  Thank you all for your many prayers and for the unwavering support.  You are Anna's precious village - the people who love her, pray for her, and support her unconditionally.  From our deepest hearts, we thank you.

Ciao from Italy,
Amy