Marvelous Manchester!

Welcome to the University of Manchester!

Who knows?  Maybe someday, they will study abroad!

It was a whirlwind trip, but we did it!  Amelia, Anna, and I made our journey to England and home in four days' time.  In those days, we traveled easily, had our lengthy mapping appointment, tried out the fish and chips, and made the journey home.

Taking the train into Manchester

This is how we roll!

Here we are at the University of Manchester.
Who knows?  Maybe someday they will study abroad!

Can I brag for a moment?  Of course I can!  It's MY blog.  If you don't want to hear a mama gush, then just hit fast-forward.  If you're still with me, let me tell you this:  my girls are awesome travelers!  Amelia AiChun loves a stamp in her passport more than just about anything else, and Anna Banana is the go-go girl.  She loves to GO!  Some moms might tremble at the thought of traveling alone internationally with two kids under ten, but not me.  Trust me, I am no SuperMom--far from it, believe me--but  my lovely ladies are such fantastic travelers, I knew we would be fine.  Even Lucy could have done the trip well (she's a good traveler, too), but for practical reasons, she stayed behind and had a super week with Papa, Grandmama, and Cousin Kyndal.

E-readers?  Check!

Anna shows me the emergency card.

She then spontaneously demonstrates the "brace" position.

Just taking a walk!

The good news is that the team in Manchester seems very knowledgeable and experienced.  I felt a confidence in their care for Anna that I haven't felt in a long time.  They spent a lot of time with me asking questions, talking about Anna and her language progress (both spoken and signed), and built great rapport with Anna.  In total, I think our whole appointment was almost 5 hours long -- at least as long, if not longer, than our initial activation.  In the end, though, it's not length, but quality, and I definitely felt like Anna was getting careful, attentive, supportive, intentional, first-rate quality care.  When they "went live" with Anna's new map, the response was immediate on Anna's face - you could just sense that she heard.  It almost frightened her a bit.  As we made our way home, she turned her head to our name a few times and complained of the noise on the train and plane.  Since we have been home, her teachers and clinical team have ALL commented on her apparent improvement in speech detection/discrimination.  So far, it looks like our trip was a success. The team in Manchester encouraged us strongly to continue signing with Anna so that her language acquisition does not stall.  It's so strange how everyone seems to think families must make "either/or" type choices.  The truth is, most of the ABI families I have met are trying to give their children BOTH.

Anna is considered an in-patient for mapping - checking in!

We made time for street food!  Chips with curry sauce!  Yummy!

The team in Manchester was brutally honest about their guarded prognosis for Anna's hearing.  They don't have much confidence that listening and spoken language is a realistic outcome for someone with Anna's anatomy (no cochleas, no cochlear nerves), background (orphanage living with no language until almost five), and implant status (auditory brainstem implant at age 5).  They did still feel that the surgery would give Anna some benefit, but just possibly not enough to get to the point where she can hear and speak.  Their opinion is, of course, a bit different and more pessimistic than the opinion we got in Italy, and to some extent, even from the USA.  Still, I want to hear what each expert has to say, even if it isn't necessarily what I want to hear, or even if I don't completely agree.

That brings us to the elephant in the room -- why the dogged pursuit of hearing and speech?  Why not just embrace deafness and plan on a sign-only future?  I have really struggled with that question after Anna's diagnosis and in each step of our journey.  With each new difficult step, each expense, each naysayer, each person who expresses concern, or worse, judgment, I have to ask, should we stop?  And I keep coming back to no.  No, we don't stop. Why?  The only answer I have is this:  my heart tells me that I should not give up on my dreams for Anna.

I want Anna to have ALL the opportunities -- opportunities to live and thrive in the Deaf world, to use ASL, to interact with confidence with other deaf people, to go to college and work in a career where being able to listen and speak isn't essential.  But also want her to have the other side -- opportunities to live and thrive in the mainstream culture that uses spoken English, to build friendships with people regardless of their hearing status, and to work in any career of her choosing without a concern that her ability to communicate might be limited because other people don't sign.  I guess I want it all for Anna, and right now, it all seems within reach, if only we are steadfast.

So our decision is to stay the course.  To keep being the best family to Anna we can possibly be.  To keep finding strong people with passion and expertise to help as navigate our journey.  To keep learning to express ourselves in sign.  To keep expecting Anna to do all the things people say she will never do.  To just KEEP ON.