"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the power and the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever, Amen." Ephesians 3:20

Sunday, January 1, 2006

The Story of Amelia

Welcome to Amelia's website! If you are here, then you know I have some BIG news: I have begun the process to adopt a baby from China. YIKES! and WOW!!!

Let's start at the very beginning: "Trust in the Lord with all yourheart and lean not on your own understanding. In all our ways acknowledge Him, and He shall drirect your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

I was working at a law firm in Dallas and feeling very unsettled with my life. The opportunity to work where I was working was clearly one that God used to bring about some miraculous events in my life and the lives of other people, but I knew in my heart that the work did not inspire me and that God must have other plans for me. It was a very dark period in my life because I would pray and pray, but I felt that He was being silent as to His plans.

I was working at my computer one day, when I sensed the Lord say "China." He didn't say it out loud (I know some of you will ask!), but I did feel that He spoke it into my heart and mind. I knew someone in my church who was planning to do summer work there, so I believed the Lord was prompting me to give money toward the trip. I agreed and dismissed it from my mind. Several minutes later, He spoke again, "China." Again, I thought I knew what He was saying, so I dismissed it. The third time when He spoke the same thing, I finally said, "What is it, Lord? I said I would give." He spoke to my heart, "No. you will go."

Sadly, I did not immediately obey. Several months passed and I was still quite disillusioned and confused about what I should do with my future. My mother asked me about the last time I knew the Lord truly spoke and I responded that it was clearly when He told me that I would go to China. My mother encouraged me to obey, and so I made plans to travel to China with some friends to spend time praying in some of the rural towns and villages.

The entire trip seemed to have His hand strongly on it. I could hear Him speaking very clearly for the first time in a long time. As the departure date approached, I kept asking Him why He was sending me to China. I had done mission work previously in Russia and Ecuador, and I had traveled through South Africa, Swaziland and other places. Never once in all my travels did I have any desire to travel to Asia. It seemed, though, that was specifically where He was sending me, and I was intrigued to know why. After I asked Him this several times over a few months, He finally answered: "You have to love the people because that's where your child will come from." (Yes, friends, the Almighty ended a sentence with a preposition.)

That clearly was NOT the answer I was expecting! Like most girls, I had thought that I might get married and have children someday. I even thought that I might adopt a child someday. I had never considered traveling to China, much less adopting from China. Even so, the Lord seemed to be laying out a path in front of me.

I left for China, and the minute the plane touched down, I knew I was in love. I loved the people and the places and the landscape and the food and the architecture and everything else about China (okay, I didn't love the squatty toilets or having fish heads in my meal, but those things are minor!). I came home with a renewed passion for people and for travel and for the Lord Himself. What a blessing that first trip to China was in my life. I ended up getting the opportunity to travel to China a second time in October 2005. Again, I found myself loving the place and the people in away I have never experienced on other international journeys.

The Lord also used my obedience in going to China on faith to allow me to leave a job that I found unfulfilling and to give me a new one that I love and find meaningful. He is always faithful. Even when we can't see Him at work, He is there, holding us up and planning good things for our lives.

After coming home, I began to pray about this child who would come from China. I prayed many times before He spoke again. This time, it was just a quick flash in my head of a picture of a Chinese little girl and a whisper, "Amelia". I had never loved or planned the name Amelia, but there it was. I felt as if my Father Himself had named her. Thus began my adoption journey.

I was expecting to adopt a young, healthy baby. Somewhere on this three-year journey, the Lord changed my heart. I told my agency that I was "open" to a child with a special need, but I didn't know what need. I didn't know what child. I only knew her face - the face I saw that day as I was praying. I described her face as best I could and waited. Then, one day, the call came. Kate from my agency told me she had a file she wanted me to see. She told me the child was older than she thought I wanted, but the face fit. I told her to send me the file. When I pulled it up on my computer, there she was. My Amelia. I couldn't have told you if it was exactly the same picture I saw in my head - but it was close enough that I immediately said "yes." Imagine my shock when I realized that my Amelia was born ten years to the day that my beloved Grandma Burch went to be in Heaven. Two months later, on my mother's birthday, I received updated photographs from China of my sweet Amelia. I immediately burst into tears - THIS was the face I had seen. I was not 100% certain after the referral pictures - close enough to say "yes" but not certain. When I received the updated photos, though, I knew. My girl wasn't a baby anymore - but she was definitely MY child.

When I sat down and did the math, the results were startling: I first heard "China" in the summer of 2003. My mother told me I must obey in December 2003. I booked my plane tickets to China in January 2004 - the same month Amelia should have been conceived. I went to China in March/April 2004 - my Amelia was in the womb. In September 2004, I had the strong sense that time was urgent - my child would be born soon. I later dismissed that as "silly" since I was getting a baby! It turned out not to be so silly! Amelia was born just weeks later. In October 2005, I went to China the second time. Without knowing it, I was in China - in Amelia's same province even - the week of her first birthday. Simply amazing! Yes, I was meant from the beginning to mother THIS child.

I have had many doubts and fears along the way. Certainly deciding to adopt as a single person, especially when I come from a very traditional family and have prayed for so long for a Godly, loving husband, was an enormous emotional decision. It truly required me to exercise a level of faith that I had never exercised before. It required me to trust that I had truly heard the voice of my Father and be willing to obey. However, when Our Father shows us His plan, it is not our place to say "no, thank you." He is my Maker, and He has the right to do with my life as He wishes. Even more, I want to do this because I believe this is what He wants. Somewhere along the way, it ceased to be about obedience and became the true desire of my heart - I love this child more than words could ever say.

I know this all sounds crazy. In the midst of the craziness, though, I recall that there were others who were called to do something that must have sounded crazy. Abraham's friends thought he was pretty nutty to set out for a place he had never seen. I am sure folks wondered what Noah was thinking when he built the ark. I know Namaan thought it was ridiculous to wash himself in the Jordan seven times to be healed of leprosy. Esther, Rahab...the list goes on and on. I often think also of Mary, who surely must have wondered at the Father's plan when she found out she was going to have a baby when she didn't have a husband. Don't get me wrong - I am no Abraham, Noah, or Mary! I am just saying that Our Father does sometimes call us to do things outside the "normal" way. The scriptures say that He uses the weak and the foolish to confound the wise. I am certainly proof of that! I know it all sounds nuts - but this is how it happened. This is my story, this is my song!

I am excited to see the good plans He has for my daughter and for me. I know that He must have an important purpose for this child, that He would speak her name so intimately and bring her all the way across the ocean to place her in my arms. I am so humbled by His grace, and I yearn to be the mother that He would have me to be.

Even as I prepare for Amelia's arrival, I am sadly aware that an ocean away, there is another mother who made the unthinkable choice - the choice to leave this beautiful 5-day-old child in a public place to be found and cared for by others. I wonder about this mother. Was she young and alone? Was she married and under family pressure to produce a son to care for her in-laws? Was she scared? Was she sad? What did she think as she held her darling daughter for the first five days of her life? Does she think of her still, 2 years later? I pray that the God who knows all and sees all will heal her heart. Nothing would make me happier than to meet Amelia's birthmother in Heaven one day.

Thank you for taking the time to read about how the Lord is at work to make Amelia and me into a family. I pray that hearing how He has working in our lives will encourage you seek His will for your life and for the lives of those you love. The Lord is not a respecter of persons that He would speak to one person and not another. Give Him an opportunity to speak to your heart, and I promise, you will hear from Him.

With love and expectation...stay tuned.

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